Frankly the question came to this: what was the matter with her? Was there, without her knowing it, some peculiar lack in her? Absurd. But she began to have a feeling of discouragement and hopelessness. Why couldn’t she be happy, content, somewhere Other people managed, somehow, to be. To put it plainly, didn’t she know how? Was she incapable of it?

Nella Larsen, Quicksand

Have you ever felt stuck? Living life every day, just going through the motions. Almost like you were living two different lives, yet not living at all?

History has shown us that in the blink of an eye, your whole world can be changed. What if the things that meant the most to you were traumatically taken away in an instant? Would your heart stop beating the right way?

When we are faced with hardship we are left to sift through the pain, disrespect, and complete disregard for anyone else feelings, and somehow process it all. It will be one heck of an educational experience, that’s for sure.

Has anyone else been given the ability to see people’s true colors, I mean, how they act when they don’t think you will find out? The truest versions of the ones you hold so dear. I am glad that we have the choice as to who we allow in our inner circle. We are not punished for walking away from those individuals who only cause us strife. It’s taken far too long to realize that just because people are blood, it doesn’t mean that they care about who you are.

Many of the people you associate with will not be there in your time of need, no matter how much you rearranged your life to be there for them during theirs. That has been a hard life lesson to learn.

“I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples.”

Mother Teresa

Change is never easy, it’s always a tad uncomfortable, but change is inevitable for us all. Learning how to accept changes that enter our lives with grace is something they should teach kids while they are in school. It’s one of the needed human behaviors that needs to be practiced, over and over again. Radical acceptance of the world around you. Learning how to know what is and isn’t within our control.

I don’t know about you, but my anxiety is worse when I don’t have a plan in place or when I don’t know where I stand with people. Did you know that overanalyzing yourself is a trauma response? Dang old trauma.

What do you do when the universe throws you a curve ball? How do you cope when change seems to be around every corner?

In the past, I typically would fall apart, get angry, and then resist. Now, I realize I am completely capable and take it in stride.

I most certainly don’t want change to happen. But, I have learned that there must be a lesson for me and I try to shift my mindset.

Unfortunately, the changes we experience in life are how we grow as humans.

I have found that a good way to handle changes is to find yourself a great coping strategy. They may be a quiet place to scream, write, and get in touch with nature. It might be out with friends or experiencing thrilling adventures to take your mind off it. No one and I mean NO ONE wants to Focus on themselves. It’s never easy and can lead you to some pretty eye-opening and maybe even uncomfortable understandings. Give yourself the opportunity and time to conquer long-fought battles with deeply hidden inner demons from your childhood. Stuffing our difficult emotions as a child will only lead to them exploding out when you least expect it as an adult.

Learning how to laugh again, is one of the hardest hills to climb I have recently decided. It’s not easy when you have looked at the world through dark lenses for so long. But the sense of peace that comes with being your true authentic self is a feeling I hope others can enjoy. I have enjoyed taking time to enjoy the beauty of the world around me.

Spend your time working on getting physically, mentally, and emotionally healthy. Cook/eat nourishing meals again. Make sure your body is allowing itself to be nourished. Another hard life lesson, Stress will most certainly kill you if you allow it. Find ways to relax, be able to take a deep breathe. Speaking of breathing, you might be doing it the wrong way.

Check out the book “Breath: The new Science of a Lost Art” by James Nestor.

Challenge yourself to feel the inner calm, it’s like unlocking the next level in this game we could call adulthood.

I was today years old when I actually gave myself the time and ability to practice Self-care, that crap is SUPER important. Also wasn’t something I was taught as a child. For those who are on your own healing journey, it’s ok if spending time with yourself is uncomfortable. Keep doing it, it does get better.

Looking back, My life had gotten to the point where I felt like I was on autopilot. The quicksand had sucked me in.

They say to get out of quicksand you have to wiggle slowly.

If you have been through tough times. if you have seen/ experienced traumatic things. Take the time to slow down, get back to the basics, and retrain your brain on how to feel safe again.

– you are living proof you can make it through your hard days💗