
Often, women are portrayed as the “crazy ones” due to behavior that is directly connected to their partner’s inappropriate and abusive actions. Knowing that we all can control our thoughts and behaviors, we as women must remember we are also imperfect humans and tend to take on more than we should due to societal expectations. When pushed to our breaking point by those who have vowed to love, support, and care for us, we learn what we are truly made of.
Her husband never hit her, but…
He told her that she was crazy, unhappy, psychotic, imagining things, or delusional any time she set boundaries, said no to him, or showed anger toward his inappropriate behavior.
Her husband never hit her, but…
He told her often that “All you do is overreact,” or to “ lighten up and learn how to take a joke,” when he would belittle and demean her in front of their children.
Her husband never hit her, but…
Early on, he reminded her daily that he didn’t want a fat wife every time he saw her eating.
Her husband never hit her, but…
If she didn’t answer his phone calls on the first ring, he assumed she was cheating on him and would belittle her until she apologized.
Her husband never hit her, but…
In every discussion, he responded, “ I never said that; you’re making that up.”
Her husband never hit her, but…
He would came banging at various bedroom or bathroom doors whenever she locked herself in for protection from his anger. She was not allowed privacy in her home; it was a privilege for him to let her live there.
Her husband never hit her, but…
He told her he would tell the police she’d kidnapped their children when she refused to open the car door, while he was in a rage.
Her husband never hit her, but…
He blocked her in their room until she said negative things about herself to him and agreed that she was the problem, not him.
Her husband never hit her, but…
He would be nice to her when he bought something or had extramarital affairs and knew she would be upset if she found out the whole truth.
Her husband never hit her, but…
He told her he would never get divorced again, he would bury her in the backyard first.
Her husband never hit her, but…
It was always her fault he acted the way he did.
Her husband never hit her, but…
He isolated her from friends, family, and her community and told her he didn’t want them around their children because they were all crazy.
Her husband never hit her, but…
He was consistently enforcing rules she was expected to follow, and she was insulted, belittled, ignored, or threatened when she refused to follow them.
Her husband never hit her, but…
He threatened to reveal private, intimate information about their relationship or personal things about her to friends, family, and community members if she didn’t do what he said.
Her husband never hit her, but…
He often told her that she was “only his,” and he’d “take care of anyone” that came after him. He’d frequently hug her and say if she ever left him, he would kill himself.
Her husband never hit her, but…
He watched her in her own home on multiple cameras, tracked her in their cars with GPS, hacked into her phone /email to read private social media messages, and harassed family and friends until they gave up her whereabouts if she wasn’t answering her phone.
Her husband never hit her, but…
He told her if she didn’t give him the kids, he would have to kill her and that she’d never see him coming. He told her he would always know where she was.
Her husband never hit her, but…
He consistently used their children as weapons to exert control over her by telling them that she didn’t care about them and that she willingly left them. He has focused his energy on alienating them from her and trying to sabotage thier relationships.
Her husband never hit her, but…
He defended his actions by saying they were due to the way his parent raised him and his crazy ex-wife.
Her husband never hit her, but…
He would get upset when she worked outside of the home. She was selfish and didn’t care about him because she chose to followed her dreams and passions.
Her husband never hit her, but…
He told her it was never his plan for her to raise their son; she was always ever meant to be his surrogate.
Her husband never hit her, but…
He controlled all the financial decisions and would get mad if she made her own money.
Her husband never hit her, but…
He would tell her family and friends she was lying to get attention when she tried to seek support for their children and herself.
Her husband never hit her, but…
He threatened her, their children, her family, and her friends with horrific physical harm if she ever spoke up and told the world what he was indeed like.
Her husband never hit her, but…
They met and married in six months, and his love was inconsistent from that day. She was only given affection when she did what he wanted, and it was withheld when she said no to him.
Her husband never hit her, but…
He would tell her that if she spoke up about his behavior, no one would believe her, and everyone around her already thought she was crazy.
Her husband never hit her, but…
He tries to continue to exert coercive control through gaslighting, stalking, legal abuse, financial abuse, and the manipulation of their children.
Her husband never hit her, but…
She was always the villain, and he was always the victim.
Her husband never hit her, but…
He asked her how she wanted to die.
Her husband never hit her, but…
He often told her that she needed to get help. When she did get help and began to heal from the trauma he caused, he then labeled her as crazy and mentally unstable.
Many times over the years, she had wished her husband would have physically hit her so that she could prove to the world that she was being harmed and it wasn’t some horrible made-up story. Bruises heal in a short amount of time. The damage caused by words takes careful work, grace and effort to erase.
She has tried tirelessly to advocate for the innocent children and convey to the proper authorities that her children are now the ones being hurt. No one has listened.
He is a true master at his craft.
Individuals who fit the criteria as coercive Domestic Abusers don’t stop manipulating, gaslighting, or being controlling when their partners get the strength to leave. It is at that point they change their focus to whoever might still be close and are hellbent on manipulating them to be on the abuser’s side.
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