You haven’t spoken to me in a year. You don’t know the person I’ve become, the changes I’ve made, or the lessons I’ve learned. Yet somehow, my past mistakes are still sitting in the room between us like uninvited guests.
I said I was sorry.
Not because it was easy, but because it mattered to me. Because I valued what we had, and I understood the weight of what I did. But sometimes, it feels like those words fell into a void—echoing back as reminders of who I used to be, not who I am today.
When Apologies Get Stuck in Time
The hardest part about growth is realizing that some people will never see it. They freeze-frame you at your lowest moment, even as you’ve worked tirelessly to move forward. They clutch the version of you that made the mistake and hold it like evidence in a trial that never ends.
But here’s the truth:
I am not that person anymore. I can own what I did without being defined by it forever. My apology was real, but so was my evolution.
Why Do We Do This to Each Other?
Maybe it’s easier to hold on to hurt than to risk trusting again. Maybe forgiveness feels like surrender, like saying what happened didn’t matter. But forgiveness isn’t forgetting. Forgiveness is freedom—from resentment, from bitterness, from being chained to a version of the past we can’t change.
When you refuse to let go, you’re not just punishing me—you’re punishing yourself.
What You Don’t See Now
You haven’t heard the way I talk to myself differently now.
You haven’t seen the boundaries I’ve built to prevent old patterns.
You don’t know the nights I spent unpacking the “why” behind my choices, the therapy sessions, the quiet prayers, the relentless work of becoming someone better.
You only know who I was. Not who I am.
So Here’s What I Need You to Understand
I said I was sorry because I meant it.
But if you can’t see beyond the apology—if you can’t allow space for redemption—then that’s not about me anymore. That’s about what you’re holding on to. You projections will no longer hold me back. I won’t stay stuck in a story that no longer fits.
As parents, having difficult conversations with our children can be one of the most challenging tasks. These conversations can often be met with resistance and defensiveness, whether discussing serious topics like discipline, bullying, or even puberty, or just trying to get your child to eat their vegetables.
It’s important to remember that having difficult conversations with our children is essential for their growth and development. It allows them to learn important life lessons and build valuable communication skills. Here are a few tips for having difficult conversations with your children in a friendly and effective manner.
Choose the right time and place
Timing is crucial when having a difficult conversation with your child. It’s best to avoid talking to them when they are upset about something else, tired, or hungry. Choose a quiet and private place where you won’t be interrupted. This will help your child feel more comfortable and open to conversation.
Use a calm and friendly tone
Feeling frustrated or angry during a difficult conversation with your child is natural. However, it is important to use a calm and friendly tone to avoid escalating the situation. Speak gently and respectfully, and try to keep your emotions in check. This will help your child feel safe and understood, making them more likely to listen and respond positively.
Listen and validate their feelings
Listening to your child and acknowledging their feelings during a difficult conversation is essential. When your child feels heard and understood, they are more likely to be cooperative and open to finding a resolution. Remember to validate their emotions, even if you disagree with them. This will help your child feel comfortable expressing their thoughts and feelings.
Keep it age-appropriate
When discussing complex topics, it’s essential to consider your child’s age and maturity level. Use age-appropriate language and examples to help them understand the situation better. Giving them space to ask questions and express their thoughts is also crucial. This will help them feel involved and valued in the conversation.
Offer solutions and compromise
Instead of just telling your child what to do, involve them in finding a solution. Ask for their input and ideas, and encourage them to devise solutions to the problem. This will help them feel more in control and responsible for their actions. If you disagree with their ideas, try to find a compromise that works for both of you.
Difficult conversations with our children can be uncomfortable, but they are a necessary part of parenting. Using a friendly tone and approach, we can effectively communicate with our children and help them learn essential life skills. Remember to be patient and understanding, and always prioritize maintaining a positive and loving relationship with your child.
Separation from our children, whether due to work, divorce, or other circumstances, presents a challenging period for any parent. The distance can strain relationships, create feelings of abandonment, and breed misunderstandings. However, with intentional actions and a focus on maintaining emotional connection, you can build a strong bond with your children even during separation.
This guide explores various strategies for nurturing and sustaining a relationship with your children, ensuring they feel loved and secure despite the physical distance.
Prioritize Communication
Regular communication is the cornerstone of maintaining a strong bond with your children. Establish a routine that allows you to connect with them consistently. This could be through daily phone calls, video chats, or even text messages. The key is to be present and show that you think of them, no matter the distance.
Technology to Your Advantage:
In today’s digital age, numerous tools and apps can help bridge the gap. Video calls via Skype, Zoom, or FaceTime can provide face-to-face interaction, which is crucial for maintaining a personal connection. Social media and messaging apps like WhatsApp or Messenger can facilitate quick and easy communication. Consider using platforms that allow shared activities, such as online games or watching movies together, to create shared experiences.
Old Fashion Ideals
While digital communication is vital, don’t underestimate the power of a handwritten letter or a thoughtful care package. Letters can be treasured keepsakes that your children can read and reread. Care packages filled with their favorite snacks, books, or small gifts can remind them of your love and thoughtfulness. These tangible items can provide comfort and a sense of connection.
Be Emotionally Available
When communicating with your children, practice active listening. Pay full attention to what they are saying, acknowledge their feelings, and respond thoughtfully. This shows that you value their thoughts and emotions, reinforcing their sense of importance and security. Be open about your own feelings regarding the separation. Let your children know that you miss them and think about them often. Sharing your emotions can encourage them to open up about their own feelings, fostering a deeper emotional connection.
Reassure your children that the separation does not change your love for them. Explain the reasons for the separation in an age-appropriate manner, and emphasize that it is temporary. Reinforcing your commitment to them can alleviate fears and anxieties they might have.
Engage in Shared Activities
Establish rituals and traditions that you can maintain even from a distance. This could be as simple as a weekly virtual game night, a story time session, or a monthly movie night. These activities create a sense of normalcy and continuity, helping your children feel more connected to you. Find ways to share experiences despite the distance. For example, you could read the same book as your child and discuss it during your calls, or you could both watch the same TV show or movie and talk about it afterward. Sharing experiences provides common ground for conversation and strengthens your bond.
Involve Them in Your Life:
Involve your children in your life as much as possible. Share stories about your day, show them around your environment via video call, and introduce them to your friends or colleagues. This inclusion helps them feel like they are still a part of your daily life.
Support Their Interests:
Take an active interest in your children’s hobbies and passions. If they enjoy drawing, ask them to show you their latest artwork. If they are into sports, talk about their recent games or matches. Showing interest in their activities demonstrates your support and encouragement, which is crucial for their self-esteem and emotional development.
Encourage your children to pursue their dreams and aspirations. Offer guidance and support, and celebrate their achievements, no matter how small. Your encouragement can motivate them to stay positive and focused, even during challenging times.
Demonstrate Resilience:
Show your children how to handle separation and adversity with grace and resilience. Your attitude and behavior during this period will serve as a powerful example for them. Displaying a positive outlook can help them develop a similar mindset, which is essential for their emotional well-being. Keep your promises and commitments. If you say you will call at a certain time, make sure you do. Consistency and reliability build trust and reinforce the sense that you are a dependable presence in their lives, even from afar. Respect your children’s feelings and perspectives. Understand that they might be going through a range of emotions, from sadness to anger. Validate their feelings and offer comfort and support. Respecting their emotions helps build a foundation of mutual trust and understanding.
Make the Most of Your Time:
Talk about and plan for the times you will be reunited. Having something to look forward to can make the separation more bearable. Discuss the activities you will do together and the places you will visit, creating anticipation and excitement. When you do reunite, make the most of your time together. Engage in meaningful activities, have deep conversations, and create lasting memories. The quality of the time you spend together is more important than the quantity.
Utilize Support Networks:
Lean on friends, family, or support groups who can offer advice and comfort. Sometimes, sharing your experiences and hearing others’ perspectives can provide valuable insights and encouragement. If the separation is particularly challenging, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. Therapists or counselors can offer strategies and support for both you and your children, helping you navigate this difficult time.
Building a strong bond with your children during a separation is challenging but entirely possible with intentional effort and the right strategies. Prioritize regular communication, be emotionally available, engage in shared activities, and support their interests. Be a positive role model, plan for reunions, and seek support when needed. Through these actions, you can maintain and even strengthen your relationship with your children, ensuring they feel loved, valued, and secure despite the physical distance.
It’s tied to comfort, celebration, memories, identity, and sometimes, frustration or guilt.
For many of us, the question isn’t just “Am I eating the right things?” but “How do I actually feel about eating?” Examining your relationship with food can help you move toward eating with less stress and more ease. This isn’t about rules or perfection, it’s about curiosity, compassion, and connection with yourself.
Notice Your Food Stories
Every person has a “food script” they’ve been handed, messages from childhood, culture, and past experiences. These scripts are often so ingrained that we don’t even realize they’re shaping our eating choices.
Common examples include:
“I must finish everything on my plate.”
“Treats are a guilty pleasure.”
“I need to earn dessert by exercising.”
Interactive Prompt:
Write down 3–5 food rules or beliefs you’ve noticed in your life. Next to each one, ask:
Where did I learn this?
Does it serve me now?
**You don’t have to throw out every old belief at once. Sometimes awareness is the first and most powerful shift.
Tune Into Hunger and Fullness
Our bodies have built-in cues for when to start and stop eating, but many of us override them. Work deadlines, social norms, or diets can make us eat because it’s “time,” not because we’re hungry, or keep going long past satisfaction.
The Hunger–Fullness Pause:
Before eating: On a scale of 0–10 (0 = starving, 10 = painfully full), where are you right now? Halfway through your meal: Pause, check the scale again. Do you want more food, or more of a break? After eating: Notice how your body feels—comfortable, sluggish, energized
Interactive Prompt:
Keep a mini log for three days, not to track calories, but to notice patterns in your hunger and fullness scores. See if certain times of day or emotions affect them.
**If this feels strange or difficult, you’re not broken, you may have just been disconnected from these cues for a while. They will get stronger with practice.
Emotional Eating Without Shame
We all eat emotionally sometimes it’s part of being human. Food can comfort, distract, and soothe us. The key is noticing when it’s happening and why, rather than judging yourself for it.
Try This Exercise:
Next time you reach for food and you’re not physically hungry:
Pause for 10 seconds.
Ask: What am I feeling right now? (lonely, bored, stressed, happy, restless)
Ask: What do I actually need? (connection, rest, movement, quiet)
You may still choose to eat and that’s okay. You’ve simply made a conscious choice rather than an autopilot one.
**Think of food as one tool in your emotional toolbox, not the only one.
Diversify Your Joy
If food is your main source of comfort or fun, life can feel flat without it. That can make eating feel overly charged, like the only way to celebrate or self-soothe.
Interactive Prompt:
Make a “Joy Menu” of at least 10 non-food activities that bring you pleasure or comfort.
Examples:
Walking outside barefoot in the grass Dancing in your kitchen to one song Reading in a cozy chair Calling someone who makes you laugh
**You’re not replacing food, you’re expanding your life so food isn’t under so much pressure to meet all your needs.
Seek Neutrality With Food
When foods are labeled good or bad, eating them can trigger guilt or rebellion. That mental tug-of-war can make eating feel exhausting. Instead, aim for food neutrality seeing foods as having different nutritional roles, but not moral value.
Thought Shift:
Instead of: “I’m bad for eating pizza.”
Say: “Pizza is delicious and satisfying. My body also benefits from vegetables and protein. I can have both.”
**If certain foods feel “off-limits,” try incorporating them in small, mindful ways so they lose their all-or-nothing power.
Consider Professional Support
If food feels like a daily battle, whether through binge–restrict cycles, fear of certain foods, or constant guilt. It can help to work with a registered dietitian or therapist who specializes in intuitive eating or disordered eating.
Reflective Prompt:
Ask yourself: How much mental space does food take up in my day?
If the answer is “a lot,” that’s a sign you might benefit from outside support, not because you’ve failed, but because you deserve a more peaceful relationship with eating.
**You don’t have to hit “rock bottom” before seeking help. Support is for anyone who wants more ease with food.
Some Final Thought:
This isn’t about fixing yourself, there’s nothing broken. It’s about getting curious, listening more closely, and slowly loosening the grip that stress and guilt can have on eating. Over time, your relationship with food can shift from one of rules and pressure to one of trust, balance, and joy.
The other day, I was put in an impossible position—the kind of moment that splits your life into a before-and-after.
You know the ones: when a simple lie could smooth the edges of a jagged reality, keep the world spinning neatly on its axis, and spare everyone the pain of truth. But instead, the words catch in your throat, your mind freezes, and the truth escapes raw, unfiltered, uninvited.
I grew up in a house where lying was beaten out of me, not metaphorically, but literally. A lie was met with the sharpest punishments, with words that cut deeper than any belt or hand ever could. I learned to equate lying with danger, shame, and punishment. So I shaped my identity around being honest, sometimes brutally so. I wore it as armor, a shield I could hold up to the world to say: Look, I am good. I am trustworthy. I am safe.
Before this moment, I never wanted to lie. Honesty felt like a safe path even if it meant losing people, disappointing them, or standing alone. But in this moment… oh, how I wanted to lie. More than anything, I wanted to offer a comforting falsehood, to shield hearts from breaking and lives from unraveling.
But when the time came, I froze. I felt that old familiar tension in my chest, the one that used to come right before punishment. The weight of my upbringing pressed down on me, suffocating. And instead of telling the gentle lie that could have protected everyone, I choked out the truth.
And with that truth, something shifted. I saw faces fall, heard the silent cracks echo between us. I watched as the trajectory of lives — not just mine — began to bend in ways I could not control.
The guilt wasn’t just about hurting someone with honesty; it was about betraying the new part of me that wanted, just this once, to be merciful with a lie. The child in me, the one who learned that lies meant survival, collided violently with the adult who had spent a lifetime trying to do the “right” thing.
In that moment, I realized that honesty isn’t always the noble, sparkling choice we like to believe it is. Sometimes, it’s a knife. Sometimes, it’s a wrecking ball. And sometimes, it’s a truth no one is ready to hear, not even the one speaking it.
I don’t know if courage or cowardice kept me from lying that day. I only know that it was deeply human, messy, flawed, and painful.
What I do know is this: we can’t always choose the perfect version of ourselves in moments of crisis. We can only stand there, frozen, trying to do right by the versions of ourselves we’ve been, and the people we love, even as the truth sets fires we can’t put out.
Maybe in another life, I would have lied. Maybe in that other life, people would be happier today. But this is my life my imperfect, honest, heart-aching life. And I’m still learning to forgive myself for the truths I tell, and the lies I can’t.
Our two souls were destined to find their place in the vast expanse of time and space. Bound together by a deep love, a connection we promised always to keep.
In a world where chaos reigns supreme, we were each other’s guiding beam. Completing the other in every way, our love grew stronger each day.
Soulmates, we are two halves of one; our bond was forged before time began. We navigated each other through this life in moments of joy and strife.
Through trials and tribulations we might face, this love will always find its place. As soulmates, we are forever intertwined in a love that does not know this earthly side.
Often, women are portrayed as the “crazy ones” due to behavior that is directly connected to their partner’s inappropriate and abusive actions. Knowing that we all can control our thoughts and behaviors, we as women must remember we are also imperfect humans and tend to take on more than we should due to societal expectations. When pushed to our breaking point by those who have vowed to love, support, and care for us, we learn what we are truly made of.
Her husband never hit her, but…
He told her that she was crazy, unhappy, psychotic, imagining things, or delusional any time she set boundaries, said no to him, or showed anger toward his inappropriate behavior.
Her husband never hit her, but…
He told her often that “All you do is overreact,” or to “ lighten up and learn how to take a joke,” when he would belittle and demean her in front of their children.
Her husband never hit her, but…
Early on, he reminded her daily that he didn’t want a fat wife every time he saw her eating.
Her husband never hit her, but…
If she didn’t answer his phone calls on the first ring, he assumed she was cheating on him and would belittle her until she apologized.
Her husband never hit her, but…
In every discussion, he responded, “ I never said that; you’re making that up.”
Her husband never hit her, but…
He would came banging at various bedroom or bathroom doors whenever she locked herself in for protection from his anger. She was not allowed privacy in her home; it was a privilege for him to let her live there.
Her husband never hit her, but…
He told her he would tell the police she’d kidnapped their children when she refused to open the car door, while he was in a rage.
Her husband never hit her, but…
He blocked her in their room until she said negative things about herself to him and agreed that she was the problem, not him.
Her husband never hit her, but…
He would be nice to her when he bought something or had extramarital affairs and knew she would be upset if she found out the whole truth.
Her husband never hit her, but…
He told her he would never get divorced again, he would bury her in the backyard first.
Her husband never hit her, but…
It was always her fault he acted the way he did.
Her husband never hit her, but…
He isolated her from friends, family, and her community and told her he didn’t want them around their children because they were all crazy.
Her husband never hit her, but…
He was consistently enforcing rules she was expected to follow, and she was insulted, belittled, ignored, or threatened when she refused to follow them.
Her husband never hit her, but…
He threatened to reveal private, intimate information about their relationship or personal things about her to friends, family, and community members if she didn’t do what he said.
Her husband never hit her, but…
He often told her that she was “only his,” and he’d “take care of anyone” that came after him. He’d frequently hug her and say if she ever left him, he would kill himself.
Her husband never hit her, but…
He watched her in her own home on multiple cameras, tracked her in their cars with GPS, hacked into her phone /email to read private social media messages, and harassed family and friends until they gave up her whereabouts if she wasn’t answering her phone.
Her husband never hit her, but…
He told her if she didn’t give him the kids, he would have to kill her and that she’d never see him coming. He told her he would always know where she was.
Her husband never hit her, but…
He consistently used their children as weapons to exert control over her by telling them that she didn’t care about them and that she willingly left them. He has focused his energy on alienating them from her and trying to sabotage thier relationships.
Her husband never hit her, but…
He defended his actions by saying they were due to the way his parent raised him and his crazy ex-wife.
Her husband never hit her, but…
He would get upset when she worked outside of the home. She was selfish and didn’t care about him because she chose to followed her dreams and passions.
Her husband never hit her, but…
He told her it was never his plan for her to raise their son; she was always ever meant to be his surrogate.
Her husband never hit her, but…
He controlled all the financial decisions and would get mad if she made her own money.
Her husband never hit her, but…
He would tell her family and friends she was lying to get attention when she tried to seek support for their children and herself.
Her husband never hit her, but…
He threatened her, their children, her family, and her friends with horrific physical harm if she ever spoke up and told the world what he was indeed like.
Her husband never hit her, but…
They met and married in six months, and his love was inconsistent from that day. She was only given affection when she did what he wanted, and it was withheld when she said no to him.
Her husband never hit her, but…
He would tell her that if she spoke up about his behavior, no one would believe her, and everyone around her already thought she was crazy.
Her husband never hit her, but…
He tries to continue to exert coercive control through gaslighting, stalking, legal abuse, financial abuse, and the manipulation of their children.
Her husband never hit her, but…
She was always the villain, and he was always the victim.
Her husband never hit her, but…
He asked her how she wanted to die.
Her husband never hit her, but…
He often told her that she needed to get help. When she did get help and began to heal from the trauma he caused, he then labeled her as crazy and mentally unstable.
Many times over the years, she had wished her husband would have physically hit her so that she could prove to the world that she was being harmed and it wasn’t some horrible made-up story. Bruises heal in a short amount of time. The damage caused by words takes careful work, grace and effort to erase.
She has tried tirelessly to advocate for the innocent children and convey to the proper authorities that her children are now the ones being hurt. No one has listened.
He is a true master at his craft.
Individuals who fit the criteria as coercive Domestic Abusers don’t stop manipulating, gaslighting, or being controlling when their partners get the strength to leave. It is at that point they change their focus to whoever might still be close and are hellbent on manipulating them to be on the abuser’s side.
Let’s journey together, hand in hand, embarking on an adventure so grand. Through valleys deep and mountains high, under the vast and endless sky.
We’ll brave the storms and bask in the sunlight, facing challenges with all our might. Side by side, we’ll overcome every trial with laughter and love, all the while exploring unknown paths, forging ahead with courage and faith, and no fear to dread. Together, we’ll create memories anew in this journey, me and you.
So take my hand, and let’s walk this road together, sharing the heavy load. In this journey, we’ll find our way together forever, come what may.
To cleanse your aura, find a peaceful place where nature’s spirits bring tranquility and grace. Release all your worries, let go of the past, embrace the present, and free your mind.
Close your eyes, take a deep breath, feel the energy flow, and let your healing begin. Visualize a white light, pure and bright, surrounding your being, filling you with light.
Call on the elements to help you align; Water cleanses, fire purifies, and earth grounds the divine. Let the wind carry away negative thoughts; as you release them, let them go.
Bathe in the moonlight, soak in the rays, as you connect with the universe in a magical daze. Dance with crystals, their energy revived; as you meditate and chant, feel your aura come alive.
Be mindful of the energy you invite in. Choose positivity, and let love always win. Protect your aura with a light shield; in peace and harmony, your spirit takes flight.
So cleanse your aura often, renew your soul, embrace the journey, and let healing make you whole. – 🦩
Roar louder than your demons 