Over the last year, I have made several small daily changes to become who I have always wanted to be. The best version of myself that has been hidden from the world. No longer will I fit into the pretty little box I’ve stood in since childhood? No longer will I ‘Sit still and look pretty’. Hell no! I will Be loud, proud and experience my life to the fullest every single day.

Writing has always been a passion of mine. Writing has given me peace in the most turbulent times. Honestly, it saved my life many times during my childhood and teenage years. I am both scared and extremely excited to share this life’s journey with others. Sharing my voice has always given me anxiety. I was conditioned as a child to be seen and not heard. I have recently learned that I am not alone in many of my life experiences, and the simple act of validating others’ feelings and life experiences can help heal your inner wounds. Finding the strength to publish pieces of my living portfolio for others hasn’t been easy. Many a tearful night worrying what the response would be. I have never given myself the ability to express my thoughts and feelings so openly or freely due to a deep seeded fear of abandonment and rejection. Instead, I would write in private, locking those words away from the world. I have recently learned that fear only keeps us from becoming the most authentic version of who we are.

Most recently, writing has given me an inner sense of needed strength. An extraordinary new power and determination in times when life has had me standing on the edge of darkness. It has taken me thirty years and an abundance of work in therapy, to finally allow others to know the most authentic version of me.

My one positive change is writing it out. allowing myself to process each day in my own words, sitting and being one with my thoughts. Like an artist, I find myself painting a picture of hope for those who are also struggling every day just like me to look perfect to the outside world. I’ll let you in on a little secret, we are all messy, and that is what makes us truly beautiful.

Throughout these posts, I will share traumatic memories, twilight zone life experiences, unconditional love, and a new sense of self that I am starting to uncover. Join me on this wonderful journey of self-discovery, healing, and deep understanding of one’s self. I hope you can walk away with the understanding that you are not alone, your life is what you make of it, and please don’t let others write your story. Take control and be the author of the memoir that is your spectacular life.

-Remember to shine your light for others.