Roar louder than your demons

What Does “Romantic” Mean to Me?

July 3rd, 2025

What’s your definition of romantic?

When people hear the word romantic, they often picture candlelit dinners, red roses, and handwritten love letters. And while all those things can be beautiful gestures, I think “romantic” goes so much deeper than the traditional ideas we see in movies or on Valentine’s Day cards.

To me, romance isn’t just about grand gestures — it’s about the small, quiet moments that show deep connection and thoughtfulness. It’s about the ways we show someone we truly see them and care for them.

Romance is when someone remembers how I take my coffee or notices when I’ve had a hard day without me saying a word. It’s when they send a text just to check in or leave a note on the bathroom mirror to make me smile before work.

Romantic means making time for each other even when life gets busy — putting down the phone, turning off the TV, and really listening. It’s the comfort of knowing you’re safe and loved, even in sweatpants, hair in a messy bun, no fancy dinner in sight.

I also think romance is about shared dreams: planning a future together, laughing about silly inside jokes, supporting each other’s goals even when they seem impossible. It’s the trust that builds slowly over time, brick by brick, through kindness and patience.

Romantic moments can happen anywhere — in a crowded grocery store, on a quiet walk at sunset, or during a late-night drive with your favorite songs playing. It’s less about where you are and more about who you’re with and how they make you feel.

For me, romance isn’t about perfection. It’s about sincerity, vulnerability, and choosing each other again and again, every single day.

So yes, a bouquet of flowers is nice. But a hug when I need it most? That’s romantic. A forehead kiss when I’m half-asleep? That’s romantic. Being fully present with each other? That, to me, is the most romantic thing of all.

-🦩

Monologue:

June 25th, 2025

You think you know me.

The quiet one. The soft one. The one who used to beg for scraps of love you never thought I deserved.

I remember all of it.

Every laugh when I cried. Every look that said I wasn’t enough. Every time you turned your back, convinced I was too small to matter.

You were wrong.

I don’t ignite in flames, nor do I shatter into chaos. That would have been far too simple for your understanding.

The crack in the foundation.

The shadow in the room you can’t explain. I used to speak with warmth, you know. My words… they were full of love once.

Gentle. Forgiving.

Now they drip with poison, dressed up in politeness. You don’t even notice the dagger until you’re bleeding.

To my so-called friends:

The ones who watched me drown,

Then laughed from the shore. I serve you smiles now, but behind every one, a reckoning brews.

And to family—

Who taught me shame like it was my birthright.

I don’t need to scream.

I don’t need to fight.

All I have to do is wait…

And let your own guilt finish what I started.

I’m not the girl you broke.

I’m what was left after the breaking. And what stands before you now isn’t revenge. I am the echo of your choices. The mirror you tried to shatter. I am the weight you thought would never return.

I don’t chase.

I don’t plead.

I don’t forgive.

And I learned it all from the best.

You.

-🦩

Break the Pattern: Choose You First and Never Settle Again

June 24th, 2025

How many times have you looked back at a relationship and thought, “I knew better”?

You felt the red flags, heard the inner voice whispering, this isn’t it, and still… you stayed. You settled. You shrank.

But here’s the truth: you’re not alone, and you don’t have to keep repeating the pattern.

The Cycle: Familiar But Not Fulfilling

We often recreate what’s familiar, even when it’s unhealthy. Maybe you grew up watching love that came with conditions or chaos. Maybe your past taught you that your needs came second, or that being chosen, even halfway, was better than being alone.

But the cost of staying in these cycles is steep:

• You lose connection with your intuition.

• You forget how to be your own best friend.

• You stop believing you deserve more.

Choosing Yourself Isn’t Selfish — It’s Survival

There comes a moment maybe this is yours, when you realize that putting yourself last has only led to pain, exhaustion, and resentment.

That moment is your wake-up call.

Choosing yourself means:

• Saying no when it’s not aligned.

• Taking your time before committing.

• Refusing to explain or shrink your standards.

• Recognizing that peace is more powerful than attention.

You don’t need to wait until you’re broken to decide you’re worthy of more.

Stop Settling — Start Creating

Settling doesn’t always look like disaster. Sometimes it looks like “almost,” “it’s fine,” or “maybe it’ll change.” But you weren’t created for almost. You were built for a love that honors your wholeness, not one that feeds on your fear of being alone.

The right relationship won’t require you to betray yourself. The right love won’t ask you to prove your worth. And that kind of relationship? It starts when you have one, with yourself.

Break the Pattern. Reclaim Your Power.

If you’re reading this and you feel that tug in your chest, that’s your inner self calling you home. You get to rewrite the story. You get to set new standards. You get to believe that choosing you is the beginning of everything good. So let this be the season you stop settling. Let this be the chapter where you stop waiting to be chosen and start choosing yourself, every single day.

Because when you stop accepting less, something beautiful happens:

More finds you.

The right one finds you.

You find you.

-🦩

Whispers to the Stars

June 18th, 2025

In the stillness of night, where silence sings low, and moonlight spills secrets the stars only know,

I sit with the hush, with the breath of the skies, letting go of my longing with tear-brightened eyes.

The wind carries whispers too soft to be heard, a murmur of memory, a half-spoken word.

And in that hush, I bow my head in prayer, releasing my hopes to the cool midnight air.

With hands turned upward, gentle and bare, I surrender to fate all the dreams that I dare.

No resistance, no fear, no demand for reply.

Just a love that is vast as the infinite sky. A love that gives without asking to keep, that watches, that waits, that speaks when I sleep.

Unconditional, quiet, like the stars overhead, alive in the silence, though nothing is said.

Beneath their eternal, unwavering gleam, I weave from the dusk a luminous dream.

A thread spun from longing, from faith, from light, a pathway that stretches through shadow and night.

This cosmic dance, this celestial spin, draws me gently, softly, inward, within..

To the place where you live in the heart of my soul, where the broken is mended, and I am whole.

I see your smile, it warms the cold air, a memory so vivid, it lingers there.

I feel your touch, though you’re not near, and it softens the edges of all I fear.

With every breath, I speak your name, a sacred mantra, always the same.

I dream of the life we once began,

Of laughter, of love, of holding hands. Though time may drift, and stars may fall, and I may not know the reason for all.

I trust in the silence, in the pull of the tide, that love, once true, will again be my guide.

The universe turns with a grace I can’t see, aligning the hours that bring you to me.

And when the time is perfectly right, I’ll find your face in the hush of night. Destined and drawn, like waves to the shore, we’ll find one another, as we did before.

For love like ours doesn’t fade with the day, it circles the stars and finds its way.

So I wait, and I breathe, and I still believe, in the quiet things hearts can achieve.

Until you return, or I find where you are, forever my wish, beneath every star.

-🦩

Retirement Redefined: A New Chapter of Purpose, Travel, and Togetherness

June 16th, 2025

How do you want to retire?

Retirement isn’t the end of something, it’s the beginning of something else entirely. After years of working, raising a family, and navigating the ups and downs of life, I’m beginning to envision retirement not as a finish line, but as a doorway. A new rhythm. A chance to do more of what fills me up.

Travel, Explore, and Be Present

I want to travel. Not just to check places off a list, but to immerse myself in new cultures, revisit places that hold memories, and discover new corners of the world with my partner. Together, I envision slow mornings in unfamiliar cities, spontaneous road trips, and shared adventures that deepen our connection and feed our curiosity.

Consulting Without the Clock

Though I’ll be stepping away from the day-to-day grind, I don’t plan to leave my work behind entirely. I’d like to stay engaged through consulting, sharing insights, supporting meaningful projects, and continuing to make a difference, just on my own terms.

Writing and Publishing What Matters

Retirement also means finally having time to write. I want to capture stories, reflect on lessons learned, and maybe even publish some long-overdue research. Whether it’s academic writing or personal essays, the goal is the same: to create something lasting and true.

More Time with Family

One of the things I look forward to most is simply being with family. No rushed visits or scheduled check-ins just real, present time with the people I love most. I want to be there for the big moments and the everyday ones, creating new memories and strengthening our bonds.

Quality Time with My Partner

And above all, I want to enjoy this next chapter with my partner. Whether we’re exploring new places, relaxing at home, or starting new hobbies together, I want to savor our time, slow, intentional, and full of joy.

Closing Thought:

Retirement, for me, isn’t about stepping away. It’s about stepping into something new, something rich with purpose, connection, and freedom. And I can’t wait to begin.

-🦩

Tortured Soul

June 16th, 2025

She was once broken like you. Whose sickness also shone through. A tortured soul with a heart so dark. Bringing pain to all she knew.

Both cold and manipulative, filled with lies that are everlasting. Kicked others down when they already feel low, and filled their heart with doubt and sorrow.

In this world, where darkness may creep. Unless you desire change, you find a partner as broken as you.

A mirror of all your crimes.

-🦩

Shouldn’t Have to Be the Bigger Person

June 15th, 2025

There’s a phrase we’ve all heard too many times:

“Just be the bigger person.”

At first glance, it sounds noble, like taking the high road, rising above, choosing peace. What happens when it becomes an expectation placed almost entirely on one person, over and over again? What happens when being the bigger person feels less like maturity and more like emotional labor being dumped on you?

Let’s be honest:

You shouldn’t always have to be the bigger person.

The Unfair Burden of Maturity

Being the bigger person often means swallowing anger, letting disrespect slide, and silencing our own hurt to preserve someone else’s comfort. It’s a concept wrapped in the illusion of strength, but sometimes it just feels like being told to tolerate unacceptable behavior.

Why is it that the people who care, who try, who reflect and grow why are they the ones constantly told to rise above? It becomes a loop: someone acts out, crosses a line, or refuses accountability, and somehow you end up being the one expected to “do the right thing” by letting it go.

It’s exhausting. And it’s unfair.

When Forgiveness Feels Like a Demand

There’s nothing wrong with being kind or offering grace. When kindness becomes a requirement rather than a choice, it turns toxic. You start to question your own boundaries. You feel guilty for having emotions. You wonder if you’re the problem just because you don’t want to play peacekeeper anymore.

Let’s be clear:

Choosing to walk away, set a boundary, or even speak up isn’t a failure of character.

It’s a form of self-respect.

You’re allowed to be angry. You’re allowed to say “this hurt me.” You’re allowed to not be ready to forgive, especially if the other person hasn’t shown growth or remorse.

The Myth of Emotional Superiority

Being the bigger person often becomes a weapon dressed up as wisdom. People will use it to silence conflict, avoid accountability, or dismiss the depth of your pain.

True maturity isn’t just about staying quiet it’s about knowing when to speak up. It’s about having the courage to say: this isn’t okay. It’s about refusing to carry emotional weight that doesn’t belong to you.

You don’t owe your grace to people who weaponize your compassion.

So What Should We Be Saying?

Instead of “be the bigger person,” maybe we should be saying:

• “You’re allowed to protect your peace.”

• “You don’t have to keep tolerating mistreatment.”

• “It’s okay to expect more from the people around you.”

Growth isn’t about endless self-sacrifice. It’s about knowing when to give and when to stop giving.

Choosing not to be the bigger person isn’t weakness. It’s sometimes the strongest, bravest thing you can do. Standing up for yourself, reclaiming your voice, and refusing to carry the emotional baggage of others is not petty. It’s powerful.

So the next time someone tells you to be the bigger person, pause and ask yourself:

“Why is that my job?”

Because maybe—just maybe—it’s time someone else stepped up. You don’t always have to be the bigger person. You just have to be the honest one.

-🦩

The Power of Words

June 14th, 2025

I wore the silence like a skin,

it crept in slow, then settled in.

Not fists, not bruises, just a glance,

a word, a threat wrapped in romance.

He didn’t shout; he rearranged

my thoughts until they sounded strange.

Was I too loud? Too weak? Too much?

He’d answer questions with a touch

a cold one, quick to let me know

how far his quiet rage could go.

He built a world where I was small,

where guilt and shame stood ten feet tall.

I stayed because I couldn’t see

where he ended, and where was me.

Because apologies came fast,

and softer than the screaming past.

Because “you’re crazy” felt like truth,

And every fight erased my youth.

I didn’t leave, because I learned

to twist the pain and call it earned.

Because love taught me to obey,

to hope, to break, and then to stay.

Because no one saw the war inside,

where part of me had slowly died.

And leaving meant I’d have to face

the wreckage of a hollow place.

But now I write, and now I breathe,

and every word helps me unweave

the knots he tied around my name and slowly, I release the blame.

So maybe I didn’t leave back then, but I’m not her. I’m me again.

-🦩

Chasing Shadows of the Person I Thought I Knew

June 7th, 2025

A strange kind of heartbreak doesn’t come from a clean break or a clear goodbye. It comes from chasing someone who’s already gone in every way but physically.

It starts small. A conversation that feels off. A laugh that doesn’t quite sound like it used to. You brush it off because love, memory, or loyalty make you generous with your blind spots. You remind yourself of who they were: kind, attentive, honest. You cling to those memories like a map, believing that if you follow them closely enough, you’ll find your way back to them.

But what happens when you realize that the person you thought you knew was never really there? Or worse, that they were there, but only for a season?

You start chasing shadows.

Pieces of them flicker in old photos, in songs you used to share, in the way you instinctively reach for your phone to tell them something funny. You look for them in your past because they’ve disappeared from your present.

And that’s the hard truth, when someone changes, they don’t always give you notice. Sometimes they outgrow you, or outgrow the person they were with you. Sometimes, they reveal parts of themselves that they have kept hidden. And sometimes… they were never who you thought they were at all.

Letting go of that illusion opens the door to a transformative experience. It’s not just about moving past the relationship; it’s about recognizing the potential for new beginnings. You’re anticipating a future where you can embrace the reality of who they truly are, rather than the idealized version that existed in your mind. This journey will allow you to shift your hope, trust, and investment toward healthier connections. It’s an opportunity to realize that what you loved was a projection, and now you can look forward to discovering something real and genuine.

But here’s the thing: it’s okay to outgrow the shadow.

It’s okay to stop running after a version of someone who no longer exists or never really did. It doesn’t make your love any less real. It means you’re choosing truth over fantasy, clarity over confusion, peace over chaos.

And maybe, just maybe, in the process of letting go of who they aren’t… You start becoming more of who you are.

-🦩

“I broke her heart once, and I’d let her break my heart a thousand times in return if it meant that one day she found her way back to me,” King of Greed – Ana Huang

Parenting Then and Now: A Look at Raising Kids in the 90s vs. Today

May 18th, 2025

Parenting has always been a challenging yet rewarding endeavor. However, the tools, techniques, and societal expectations surrounding parenting have evolved significantly over the past few decades. Comparing parenting in the 1990s to today reveals interesting contrasts and similarities, shaped by technological advancements, cultural shifts, and new understandings of child development.

Technology: Analog to Digital Parenting

1990s: The 1990s were marked by limited access to technology. Parents relied on landline phones, and the internet was in its infancy, with dial-up connections that were slow and sporadic. Information on parenting was sourced from books, pediatricians, and word-of-mouth advice from family and friends. Entertainment for kids included VHS tapes, Nintendo and Sega video game consoles, and playing outside until the streetlights came on.

Today, Modern parenting is deeply intertwined with digital technology. Smartphones, tablets, and the internet provide instant access to information and resources. Parents can connect with others through social media, join parenting forums, and utilize a variety of apps for everything from tracking their baby’s milestones to finding healthy recipes. Entertainment for children is now primarily digital, with streaming services, interactive apps, and sophisticated video games offering endless options.

Communication and Community: From Local to Global

1990s: Parenting in the 1990s was more localized. Parents formed communities through neighborhood connections, school events, and local organizations. Face-to-face interactions were the primary means of support and advice. Playdates were arranged through phone calls, and news about parenting trends spread through magazines and TV shows.

The digital age has expanded the parenting community globally. Parents can join online support groups, participate in virtual playdates, and access parenting blogs and YouTube channels for advice. Social media platforms enable parents to share experiences and tips with others worldwide, fostering a diverse and extensive support network.

Safety and Supervision: Then and Now

1990s: Children in the 1990s experienced more freedom and less supervision than today. It was common for kids to walk or bike to school, spend hours playing outside unsupervised, and explore their neighborhoods. Parents trusted their children to follow basic safety rules and be home by dinner.

Today, Modern parenting often involves closer supervision and more structured activities. Increased awareness of potential dangers and the prevalence of “helicopter parenting” mean that children today are more likely to be closely monitored. GPS tracking apps and constant smartphone communication allow parents to monitor their kids’ whereabouts closely. This shift has led to debates about the impact on children’s independence and resilience.

Education and Extracurricular Activities

1990s: In the 1990s, education was more traditional, focusing on in-class learning and physical textbooks. Extracurricular activities were important but often limited to local clubs, sports teams, and school-based programs. The emphasis was on a well-rounded development with a balance of academics and play.

Today, Education has become more diverse and technology-driven. Schools now use digital tools and resources, and distance learning has become a viable option, especially post-pandemic. Extracurricular activities have expanded to include various online classes, virtual clubs, and global competitions. There is also a greater focus on early childhood education and enrichment programs to foster multiple skills from a young age.

Parenting Styles and Discipline

1990s: The 1990s saw a mix of traditional and evolving parenting styles. Physical punishment, like spanking, was more commonly accepted, though the trend was shifting toward more understanding and supportive methods of discipline. Parenting advice often revolved around being firm yet fair and teaching children through direct consequences.

Contemporary parenting emphasizes positive reinforcement, gentle parenting, and emotional intelligence. There’s a greater focus on understanding children’s developmental stages and promoting healthy emotional growth. Time-outs and loss of privileges have replaced physical punishment. Mental health and child psychology resources are more readily available, influencing how parents approach discipline and support.

Work-Life Balance

1990s: The 1990s marked a period where dual-income households became more common, and the struggle to balance work and family life was evident. Daycare centers and after-school programs were vital for working parents, and there was a growing conversation about the need for family-friendly workplace policies.

Today, Work-life balance remains a critical issue, but remote work and flexible schedules have become more prevalent, partly accelerated by the COVID-19 pandemic. Though challenges still exist, parents have more tools to balance their professional and personal lives. The gig economy and freelance work also offer alternatives to traditional 9-to-5 jobs, allowing some parents more control over their schedules.

Embracing Change and Continuity

Parenting, whether in the 1990s or today, involves navigating a complex landscape of challenges and joys. While the tools and societal context have changed dramatically, the core principles of love, support, and guidance remain constant. Each era brings its own set of advantages and challenges, and modern parents can learn valuable lessons from the past while adapting to the present.

Ultimately, successful parenting transcends periods and technological advancements. It lies in providing a nurturing environment, encouraging growth and independence, and fostering a strong, loving bond with children. Whether using a rotary phone or a smartphone, the heart of parenting is timeless and universal.

-🦩

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Technology: Analog to Digital Parenting

Communication and Community: From Local to Global

Safety and Supervision: Then and Now

Education and Extracurricular Activities

Parenting Styles and Discipline

Work-Life Balance

Embracing Change and Continuity

Share this: